Kegel exercises are the repeated squeezing and releasing of your pelvic floor muscles — the hammock of muscles that support your bladder, uterus, and bowel — done to build strength, control, and sensation. Practiced regularly, they can improve bladder control, support recovery after childbirth, and for many people lead to stronger, more noticeable orgasms.
By Valerie Zwiers, intimate wellness expert and former Pure Romance consultant.
Last updated: July 29, 2026
What are the pelvic floor muscles?
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that stretches like a supportive sling from your pubic bone to your tailbone. According to the Mayo Clinic, these muscles can weaken with pregnancy, childbirth, aging, and being overweight, which is why targeted training matters. When they are strong and responsive, they do more than prevent leaks — they play a direct role in arousal and orgasm, a connection we dig into in why your pelvic floor is the secret to better orgasms.
How do you find the right muscles?
The simplest way: the next time you urinate, try to stop the flow midstream. The muscles you clench to do that are your pelvic floor muscles. That test is just for locating them — don’t make a habit of doing Kegels while urinating, as the Mayo Clinic notes it can be counterproductive. If the stop-flow method doesn’t work, try imagining you’re holding back gas, or gently insert a clean finger and squeeze around it.
Why do so many people do Kegels wrong?
The most common mistakes are holding your breath, clenching your glutes or thighs instead, or bearing down rather than lifting up. The movement should be a gentle inward-and-upward lift, with everything else relaxed. If you feel your stomach or buttocks tighten, you’re recruiting the wrong muscles.
How do you actually do Kegel exercises?
Here is a simple starter routine: tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold for 3 to 5 seconds, then relax fully for the same amount of time. Repeat 10 times, and aim for three sets a day. As you get stronger, work up to holding for 10 seconds. Consistency beats intensity — a few focused sets daily does far more than one long session a week. Breathe normally throughout.
The release matters as much as the squeeze. A pelvic floor that can’t relax is just as problematic as a weak one, so give equal attention to letting go completely between reps.
Kegels vs. reverse Kegels: what's the difference?
Strengthening isn’t the only goal. Here’s how the two main techniques compare:
| Technique | Movement | Best for |
|---|---|---|
| Kegel (contraction) | Squeeze and lift inward, then release | Building strength, bladder control, firmer orgasms |
| Reverse Kegel (relaxation) | Gently bear down and lengthen the muscles | Releasing tension, easing pain with penetration |
Most people benefit from a mix of both, since a balanced pelvic floor is one that can contract and release on demand.
Can weights or trainers make Kegels more effective?
They can, once you’ve mastered the basic squeeze. Weighted kegel balls (also called ben wa balls) give your muscles something to grip and lift against, adding resistance the way dumbbells do for a bicep curl. The Dream On Ball is a beginner-friendly option designed exactly for this kind of progressive training.
A little lubricant makes insertion comfortable — a silicone-based glide like Pure Pleasure lasts through a full session. You’ll find more training tools in our G-spot & vaginal and vaginal health collections. If you’re rebuilding strength after birth, pair this with the timeline in our postpartum intimacy guide.
How long until Kegels make a difference?
Most people notice improvements in bladder control and sensation within 6 to 12 weeks of consistent practice, similar to any other muscle-strengthening routine. Stronger pelvic control can also translate to better orgasm intensity and even help you draw out arousal, which connects nicely with the slow-build techniques in Edging 101 and the pleasure-gap fixes in closing the orgasm gap. If you have pelvic pain, prolapse, or aren’t sure you’re engaging the right muscles, a pelvic floor physical therapist can assess you directly.
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