By Valerie Zwiers
Last updated: September 14, 2026
A dildo is a non-vibrating insertable toy shaped for penetration, used solo or with a partner, vaginally or anally. Choosing one comes down to four things: body-safe material, size, shape, and whether you want a suction-cup base or harness compatibility. My beginner pick is the Simply Sweet Chocolate Dipped Banana Split ($59.87) — premium silicone, a gentle curve, a strong suction cup, harness-compatible, and it doesn't look like a sex toy on the shelf.
Banana Split or Hanky Panky? Both are body-safe silicone dildos with a suction-cup base and a gentle curve, and both work in a harness. Banana Split ($59.87) is 7.4 inches overall, firm with a little flex, and disguised as a dessert. Hanky Panky ($49) is a realistic 6.25-inch dual-density stud with a soft skin-like outer layer over a sturdy core, 1.5 inches across. Pick Banana Split if you want discreet and playful; pick Hanky Panky if you want real-feel.
Most people buy their first dildo the way they buy a first vibrator: too big, wrong material, and with no idea what the base is for. Then it sits in a drawer. This guide walks through each decision so you can pick with confidence instead of guessing.
What material should a dildo be made of?
Material is the single most important choice, because it affects safety, feel, and cleaning. Look for body-safe, non-porous materials — medical-grade silicone and glass — which can be fully sanitized and won’t harbor bacteria. Avoid porous, unlabeled “jelly” toys, which can contain phthalate softeners; the Cleveland Clinic recommends choosing body-safe materials and cleaning toys before and after every use. Every dildo in this guide is phthalate-free silicone. We break the material science down further in our body-safe sex toy materials guide.
How do the main body-safe materials compare?
| Material | Feel | Temperature play | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Silicone | Soft, flexible, body-like | Warms to body temp | Most beginners; everyday comfort |
| Glass | Firm, smooth, rigid | Heats or cools easily | Firm pressure; G-spot targeting |
What size dildo should a beginner choose?
Smaller than you might think. If you’re new, start with a girth around 1 to 1.25 inches in diameter and a modest insertable length — you can always size up later, but starting too big usually means discomfort. Length matters less than girth for comfort, since your body adjusts to depth more easily than to width. For reference, Hanky Panky is 1.5 inches across with 6.25 inches insertable, and the Hollow Strap-On's dildo is 1.75 inches across with 6 inches insertable. The same “start gentle” logic we use in our first vibrator guide applies here.
Does shape matter?
Yes — shape determines what a dildo is good at. A gently curved tip is designed to reach the G-spot or prostate; a straight, classic shape is versatile; and a tapered tip makes insertion easier for beginners. Both Banana Split and Hanky Panky have a gentle curve, which is why I steer beginners to them.
Suction cup. If you want hands-free play, look for a suction-cup base that sticks to a wall, floor, or the seat of a chair. Both of my picks have one; press it onto a clean, smooth, non-porous surface.
Harness base. If you want to use it in a harness with a partner, you need a base that fits through the harness ring. Banana Split and Hanky Panky are both listed as harness-compatible, and the Strap-On Harness ($41.40) is adjustable, padded, and takes most attachments through its 1.75-inch ring.
Hollow. A Hollow Strap-On with Harness ($89) is a different job: the silicone dildo is hollow, so it goes over a penis to add length and girth, works for partners who have trouble maintaining an erection, or holds a slim vibrator inside. It ships with its own harness.
Browse the full range in our dildos collection, and find curved, insertion-friendly shapes in the G-spot & vaginal collection.
What lube works with a dildo?
It depends on the material. Water-based lubricant is safe with every material and is the fail-safe choice — all three silicone toys in this guide call for it on their labels. Silicone-based lube feels longer-lasting but can degrade silicone toys over time, so reserve it for glass. The Hollow Strap-On's label suggests a creamy lubricant when using it as an extension. Our guide to choosing the right lubricant covers the trade-offs, and you can shop options in the lubricants collection. Whatever you pick, generous lube makes penetration smoother and more comfortable.
What should you know before buying?
Banana Split is firm with flex. Premium body-safe silicone, 7.4 inches total length, gently curved shaft, suction cup base, harness-compatible, non-porous, free from phthalates and latex. The label calls it "incognito" — nobody knows what it is on a shelf.
Hanky Panky is dual-density. Premium liquid silicone with a soft exterior and a supportive core, textured shaft, realistic head, gentle curve. 6.25 inches insertable, 8.5 inches overall, 1.5 inches across. Suction cup base, harness-compatible, waterproof, phthalate-free, and it does not vibrate. Comes with a 1-year manufacturer warranty.
The Hollow Strap-On includes the harness. Smooth silicone dildo, 6 inches insertable, 1.75 inches wide, 4.25 inches interior depth. Harness adjusts 30–40 inches at the waist and 24–30 inches at the thigh. The harness is machine wash cold, air dry only.
Store silicone apart. Both dildo labels say to store away from other silicone toys so the finish stays intact.
Cleaning. Wash before and after every use with a dedicated adult toy cleaner such as Cleansing Mist ($10), rinse, and let it air dry completely before storing. Soaps and chemicals can break down the silicone and throw off vaginal pH. For a hollow toy, store it opening-down so the cavity dries fully. A little care keeps a good dildo safe to use for years, and pairs well with the unhurried mindset in Solo Play 101.
Banana Split vs Hanky Panky vs Hollow Strap-On: which should you buy?
| Toy | Price | Best for | Key feature | Availability |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Simply Sweet Banana Split | $59.87 | First dildo, discreet storage | Premium silicone, gentle curve, suction cup, harness-compatible, 7.4 in overall | In stock |
| Hanky Panky 6.25 in | $49 | Realistic feel | Dual-density liquid silicone, textured shaft, suction cup, waterproof, 1.5 in wide | In stock |
| Hollow Strap-On with Harness | $89 | Penis extension, erection support | Hollow silicone dildo, 6 in insertable, adjustable harness included | In stock |
What's the verdict?
Best for: anyone buying a first non-vibrating insertable who wants body-safe silicone, a suction cup, and the option of a harness later.
Buy it if: you want one toy that covers solo hands-free play and partnered play — Banana Split is the one to start with; Hanky Panky if realistic is the point.
Skip if: you know you want vibration — that's a different guide — or you're shopping for a partner who needs an extension, in which case the Hollow Strap-On is the right tool.
Shop this guide
Where can I learn more?
- Body-Safe Sex Toy Materials: A Smart Guide
- The G-Spot Guide
- Anal 101: A Beginner's Guide
- How to Choose the Right Lubricant
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